Enjoy~ 

"Generous Lawyer"

A local United Way office realized that the organization had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute.

"Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000, you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give back to the community in some way?"

The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied, "First, did your research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness, and has medical bills that are several times her annual income?"

Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbled, "Um ... no."

The lawyer interrupts, "or that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair?"

The stricken United Way rep began to stammer out an apology, but was interrupted again.

"or that my sister's husband died in a traffic accident," the lawyer's voice rising in indignation, "leaving her penniless with three children?!"

The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten, said simply, "I had no idea..."

On a roll, the lawyer cut him off once again, "So if I don't give any money to them, why should I give any to you?"

This joke here is dedicate to all those girls that only look at appearances.

"Impossible to Please"

A group of girlfriends is on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: "For Women Only." Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in. 

The bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works. "We have 5 floors. Go up floor by floor, and once you find what you are looking for, you can stay there. It's easy to decide since each floor has a sign telling you what's inside." 

So they start going up and on the first floor the sign reads: "All the men on this floor are short and plain." The friends laugh and without hesitation move on to the next floor. 

The sign on the second floor reads: "All the men here are short and handsome." Still, this isn't good enough, so the friends continue on up. 

They reach the third floor and the sign reads: "All the men here are tall and plain." 

They still want to do better, and so, knowing there are still two floors left, they continued on up. 

On the fourth floor, the sign is perfect: "All the men here are tall and handsome." The women get all excited and are going in when they realize that there is still one floor left. Wondering what they are missing, they head on up to the fifth floor. 

There they find a sign that reads: "There are no men here. This floor was built only to prove that there is no way to please a woman."

See? Appearances are not enough to satisfy girls LOL(No offence)
Hope my number of female viewers won't drop cause of this T.T
Good Jokes are harder to find lately, those who have please share with me okay.
Can either add me at Msn or email me :D
Would appreciate your efforts to spread laughter