A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: "Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: "OK, now what?"

Son of a Bitch

Girl: "Forgive me father for I have sinned." 

Priest: "What have you done my child?" 

Girl: "I called a man a son of a btch." 

Priest: "Why did you call him a son of a btch?" 

Girl: "Because he touched my hand." 

Priest: "Like this?" (as he touches her hand) 

Girl: "Yes father." 

Priest: "That's no reason to call a man a son of a btch." 

Girl: "Then he touched my bre@st." 

Priest: "Like this?" (as he touched her bre@st) 

Girl: "Yes father." 

Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a btch." 

Girl: "Then he took off my clothes, father." 

Priest: "Like this?" (as he takes off her clothes) 

Girl: "Yes father." 

Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a btch." 

Girl: "Then he stuck his you know what into my you know where." 

Priest: "Like this?" (as he stuck his you know what into her you know where) 

Girl: "YES FATHER, YES FATHER, YES FATHER!!!" 

Priest: (after a few minutes): "That's no reason to call him a son of a btch." 

Girl: "But father he had AIDS!" 

Priest: "THAT SON OF A BTCH!!!"