Owner is feeling tired from all his problems
But still you all de supports give me energy :D
So here the rewards
P.s Sorry for inactive posting :(
Store Policy
CUSTOMER: I'd like to buy some dog food.
CHECKOUT: Do you have a dog?
CUSTOMER: Yes.
CHECKOUT: Where is he?
CUSTOMER: He's at home.
CHECKOUT LADY: I'm sorry, I can't sell this dog food to you unless I see the dog. Store policy.
The next day, the customer returns.
CUSTOMER: I'd like to buy some cat food.
CHECKOUT: Do you have a cat?
CUSTOMER: Yes.
CHECKOUT: Well...where is he?
CUSTOMER: He's at home!
CHECKOUT: Sorry, I can't sell this cat food to you unless I see your cat.
The next day the customer returns.
CHECKOUT: What's in the sack?
CUSTOMER: Put your hand inside.
CHECKOUT: Hmmm...It's warm and moist! What is it?
CUSTOMER: I would like to buy some toilet paper.
Lie Detecting Robot
One day Kyle’s dad brought home a robot. The robot was special in that it could detect a lie and would slap the person who lied on the face.
Kyle returned late from school that day and his dad asked him, “Son why are you late from school?”
Kyle answered, “Dad, we had extra classes today”.
Much to his astonishment the robot jumped up and slapped Kyle on his face.
His dad told him, “Son this robot is special in that it can detect a Lie and will then slap the person who lied. Now come on tell me the truth.
Why are you late?”
“Dad, I went to a movie”
“Which movie?”
“The Ten Commandments”
Immediately, Kyle got a slap on the face from the robot.
“Sorry Dad, I went to see the movie Sex Queen”.
“Shame on you son, when I was your age I never watched obscene movies or misbehaved”
Immediately, the dad gets a tight slap on the face from the robot.
Hearing the last sentence, Kyle’s mother comes walking out of the kitchen and sarcastically says to her husband, “After all he is YOUR son!!!”
To which the robot steps up and gives Kyle’s mother a resounding slap on her face!
Teaching the child
As a crowded airliner is about to take off, the peace is shattered by a 5-year-old boy who picks that moment to throw a wild temper tantrum. No matter what his frustrated, embarrassed mother does to try to calm him down, the boy continues to scream furiously and kick the seats around him.
Suddenly, from the rear of the plane, an elderly man in the uniform of an Air Force General is seen slowly walking forward up the aisle. Stopping the flustered mother with an upraised hand, the white-haired, courtly, soft-spoken General leans down and, motioning toward his chest, whispers something into the boy's ear.
Instantly, the boy calms down, gently takes his mother's hand, and quietly fastens his seat belt. All the other passengers burst into spontaneous applause.
As the General slowly makes his way back to his seat, one of the cabin attendants touches his sleeve. "Excuse me, General," she asks quietly, "but could I ask you what magic words you used on that little boy?"
The old man smiles serenely and gently confides, "I showed him my pilot's wings, service stars, and battle ribbons, and explained that they entitle me to throw one passenger out the plane door on any flight I choose."
P.s ( Didn't notice the title is not bolded, if I not posting means I finding funny stuff or too busy)
